Mandys Testimony
When I was a little girl I somehow knew of GOD’s existence. I felt a deep sense of knowing and joy that illuminated within me. I can’t explain to you how I knew, I just did. On Sunday afternoons you would often find me running in to watch Jesus of Nazareth or Moses, whilst leaving my friends to play British Bulldog or some other great 70’s street game. Not really sure looking back what my friends thought of my frantic runs home, to me it felt very natural to embrace the stories and teachings from the films.
As the years passed by I somehow forgot Him and distanced myself from the light that I held within. I became distracted by the conformities of life, all the trappings of a material world, the pressures to be a certain way, or run the risk of not being accepted. My authentic self became buried amidst a host of belief systems and conditioning that kept me imprisoned for many years.
Throughout these years, even though I distanced myself away from GOD, at times of complete despair I knew he was at my side. A peace and serenity would ease my difficulties, his gentle voice guiding and strengthening me to deal with problems that I was experiencing. I didn’t always listen, consumed by my own thoughts, I thought I knew best, until the same problems kept repeating themselves over and over again.
The problems became so painful, I felt trapped almost wanting to break free of something. Questions constantly filled my mind “who was I?”, and “What was my purpose”. As painful as it was, looking back it was the beginning of my journey of self discovery and to the path of GOD our creator.
GOD brought me to faith, the moment I surrendered and placed my trust in Him.
I looked upon the Church initially with a sense of fear and trepidation. I thought I wouldn’t be welcomed. I didn’t understand the faith, and so I thought I would look stupid and out of place. More importantly I had this belief that you had to be a special person to enter GOD’s church. These powerful belief systems that I had created paralysed me to even enter the grounds of the church, let alone the door.
As my fear of the church subsided I decided to attend the Alpha Course here at St. Barts. My reasons for attending the course meant I could try to gain an understanding of who Jesus Christ was, what was the Holy Spirit and how I could I have a better relationship with GOD. The course proved so successful that I went onto furthering my understanding by attending Holy Communion services on Sunday mornings. At first it was a little daunting, I fumbled through the bible not really having a clue where to look, or what to say, and I would often sit or stand at the most inappropriate times. However, members of the congregation gently showed me the way.
And so it brings me here today, to say that I still have much to learn and definitely more to understand. Just as a child reaches out their hand to steady their first steps, it is I who reaches to GOD to steady and strengthen me. My relationship with him is growing and I am learning to completely trust his guidance. I am and will always be eternally grateful to my heavenly father GOD Almighty, the Son of God, Lord Jesus Christ, and the beautiful Holy Spirit for showing me how beautiful life is and I am proud as I stand here to call myself a Christian.
